We hear a lot about authentic leadership these days.
Be yourself. Know your values. Don't put on an act. Bring your whole self to work.
All good advice.
But there is a bit of a trap in the way we sometimes talk about authenticity. Because being authentic doesn't mean you have to say exactly what you're thinking, behave exactly how you feel like behaving, or give everyone the same version of you.
Leadership is really about one thing: Getting the best out of other people.
And if that's what we're trying to do, then sometimes it's not about us at all.
It's about them.
It's about knowing who you're talking to, understanding what they need from you and being willing to adjust your style to help them succeed.
That doesn't mean being fake. It means being thoughtful.
And interestingly, the research supports that distinction.
Authentic Leadership
isn't simply defined as saying whatever is on your mind. Established research describes it through four dimensions: self-awareness, relational transparency, balanced processing, and an internalised moral perspective. Relational transparency involves openness, but also sharing thoughts and feelings appropriately; balanced processing means being willing to consider other perspectives rather than simply acting on your own instincts.
In other words, authenticity has always required a degree of judgement.
Here's a little test…
Think of a very successful business leader.
They're incredibly intelligent. Extremely ambitious.
They've built some extraordinary businesses.
They're also famous for saying exactly what they think.
They communicate directly on social media.
They don't always follow the usual corporate playbook. They're often provocative, sometimes unpredictable and their personality is very much part of their public brand.
A lot of people love that about them.
They see someone who isn't polished or scripted.
Someone who says what they think.
Now here’s the question:
- 01
Would you want them as your boss?
- 02
Would you feel comfortable disagreeing with them?
- 03
Would you feel comfortable telling them that they've got something wrong?
- 04
Would their personality bring out the best in you?
- 05
Or would you spend a fair amount of time thinking about how to manage them?
Have you worked out who we're talking about?
Yep. Elon Musk.
And this isn't about whether you like Elon Musk or not.
It's about something we find quite interesting about leadership.
There is a difference between being authentic and being unfiltered.
When “that's just me”
starts to cost you
There is no doubt that Musk's personality has been a huge part of his success.
His ability to generate attention, get people excited about an idea and communicate a very strong vision is extraordinary.
But there is another side to having such a strong personality at the centre of your business.
Sometimes the personality of the leader starts to become the business.
And when that happens, what the leader says and does can have very real consequences for the company.
TESLA
When the personality
becomes the business
Am considering taking Tesla private at $420. Funding secured.
Source: Elon Musk Tweet
Back in 2018, Musk tweeted that he was considering taking Tesla private and said he had “funding secured.” That one communication triggered a major reaction in Tesla's share price and ultimately resulted in action by the US Securities and Exchange Commission. Musk and Tesla each agreed to pay US$20 million, and Musk stepped down as Tesla's chairman as part of the settlement.
More recently, Musk's increasingly public political activity has become closely associated with Tesla.
Tesla's customer loyalty fell sharply, its brand reputation dropped significantly, and the company faced considerable criticism from some of its own customers. There are obviously other factors involved - competition, an ageing product range and the changing EV market - but Musk's public persona has clearly become part of the conversation around the Tesla brand.
And that's what makes this interesting.
When you're the leader, your personality doesn't just belong to you anymore.
It can affect your…
employees.
Your customers.
Your shareholders.
Your partners.
And ultimately, your business.
That's quite a responsibility.
So, should we stop being ourselves?
Absolutely not.
We don't want leaders walking around trying to be someone they're not.
That's exhausting and, frankly, people can usually tell.
But we do need to distinguish between changing who you are and changing how you show up.
They're not the same thing.
- You can be direct without being unnecessarily blunt.
- You can be confident without dominating the conversation.
- You can be funny without making someone else the joke.
- You can be decisive without shutting everyone else out.
- You can be passionate without expecting everyone else to have the same level of passion.
- You can be highly analytical without making everyone sit through every detail that went into your thinking.
- And you can be empathetic without avoiding the difficult decisions.
You're still you.
You've just learned when to turn certain parts of yourself up, and when to turn them down.
Values can remain consistent while behaviour flexes.
And that distinction matters. As psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic recently put it when discussing authenticity and adaptability in leadership:
“If you look at leadership effectiveness, you need to be able to flex, adjust, and adapt.”
Read the room
One of the most underrated leadership skills is simply reading the room.
Who am I talking to?
What does this person need from me?
How are they responding?
Am I helping them or am I making this about me?
Reading the room means adapting how you lead based on who is in front of you and what they need in that moment.
Because the same leadership style doesn't work with everyone.
Imagine you've got someone in your team who is incredibly confident and experienced. They probably don't need you to wrap everything in cotton wool. They might actually appreciate you being direct and challenging them.
Now imagine someone else who is new to the organisation and still finding their feet.
The exact same approach might knock their confidence rather than improve their performance.
Does that mean you're being inconsistent? We don't think so. You're being a leader.
Your job isn't to make everyone experience you in exactly the same way.
Your job is to help different people perform at their best.
And this is where authenticity gets interesting
Sometimes we use authenticity as an excuse.
“That's just how I am” or “I'm a very direct person” or “I tell it like it is” or “People know what they're getting with me”… Maybe…
But none of those things mean we shouldn't think about the impact we have on other people.
If a person is naturally very direct but learns how to soften their delivery when someone needs encouragement, they aren't being fake.
If a person is naturally competitive but recognises that competition motivates some people and completely demotivates others, they aren't being less authentic.
If a person is naturally very confident but makes a conscious effort to ask for other people's views before giving their own, they aren't pretending to be someone else.
They're simply thinking about the person in front of them.
And surely that's part of being a good leader.
Authenticity with a bit of self-awareness
Maybe authentic leadership isn't about showing everyone exactly who you are. Maybe it's about knowing yourself well enough to understand the impact you have on other people and then having the self-awareness to adjust.
Not because you're being fake.
Not because you're trying to please everyone.
But because you actually care about getting the best out of the people around you.
For us, that's the sweet spot.
Know who you are.
Know who you're with.
And know what they need from you.
Additional Resources
Two companion worksheets to help you put this issue into practice with your own team.
Who's In Front of YouTeam Map
A 10-page worksheet for mapping each direct report by name and working out, person by person, exactly what they need from you. Useful after a team change, ahead of a round of 1:1s, or as a quarterly reset.
Explore this resourceKnow YourselfA Reflection Workbook
A guided journalling workbook for noticing your own leadership patterns: a five-minute weekly check-in built around curiosity, not self-judgment.
Explore this resourceHow Simitri Can Help
Simitri works with leaders and teams to turn ideas like these into practical, everyday leadership habits. If any of this resonated, we'd love to talk.
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