“#DidYouKnow: 10th October is World Mental Health Day?”
I decided to write this month’s newsletter from my personal perspective, on a topic that I feel can only be understood through compassion, honesty, and sincerity. I felt obliged to do so, after a thought-provoking conversation with a very good friend of mine who, in her everyday interactions, with people she knows and strangers alike, is victim to callous and heartless behaviour toward her two children living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). You would expect a person who is often targeted with such behaviors to become hardened and distant from others; however this is not the case, in fact, my friend has become even more compassionate to those around her despite their treatment of her children.
She helped me open my mind to accept that other people’s perspectives (not their behaviour) should be a key consideration before responding emotionally to a difficult situation. In her words: “we are all traveling through life at different levels of understanding, it is up to the ones who are more evolved to encourage others to do better”.
This comment made me think about recent real-life stories portrayed in films, documentaries, literature and global news publications, depicting personal suffering, war, and famine. It made me wonder if the average person has lost the ability for empathy as we become desensitized to the many injustices we see and hear about.
As my friend and I pondered these questions, we debated who we thought should be responsible to solve these colossal problems. Is it the elected world leaders, is it the Non Governmental Organisations, or is it you and me?
Here are some ways you can show empathy through your actions on a daily basis.
Lead with empathy, not sympathy
Develop and continue to work on your ability to understand the needs of others, and be aware of their feelings and thoughts. Be compassionate and connect with others both personally and professionally. The ability to show empathy can arise from having a higher emotional intelligence, consider strengthening yours.
Lean into the difficult – avoiding it or ignoring it is not empathic
As people who do not wish to cause harm, we can turn a blind eye to a situation, a comment or a look across the office that causes another person an offense. When we do this we are sending a message of tolerance. Instead, accept the challenge of doing something to address the behaviour. Remember to:
Define your objective
Understand other perspectives
Structure your conversation
Adapt your approach
Manage your emotions
Listen and support
For most of us, it’s easy to name the individuals at work who have brought out the best in us—and maybe easier still, to name people who have brought out the worst. These memories are enduring because of the way these managers made us feel. It’s important to ask people how they feel and validate their emotions without feeling like you need to offer solutions. We all just want to be heard and have our feelings acknowledged. This is one of the simplest yet most effective things we can do for one another.
Change and grow with each experience; reflect on what you can do better
It is key to acknowledge when you have caused stress to another person, try not to languish in the situation; instead, hold yourself accountable by reflecting upon your actions to gain self-awareness and change for the better.
Keep a daily journal
Seek feedback from others
Identify your values
Practise gratitude
Examine emotional reactions and replace these with appropriate responses
Practise mindfulness/meditation
Whether you implement just one, a few or all of these suggestions, always remember that helping just one person may not change the world ...but it could change the world for that one person.